This weekend’s life lesson

A few times a year, we rent our third floor to a visiting medical student for a month. It’s a way of paying it forward to the next generation of Pete’s peers and also helps support my shopping habit without Pete blowing a gasket.

This month, we had a very quiet guy from Taiwan, visiting the United States for the first time. He barely left his room, preferring to study over eating frozen pizza or watching The Voice with us. If he wanted the American experience, he was definitely missing out.

I woke up Saturday morning excited to get the day started. My friend, L, was in town, and we were having brunch with our other friend, Jenna. I got up and went to the bathroom, which is tucked into a little corner at the end of the hall. Since it was early, I didn’t even bother turning on the light or closing the door. We’ve been married four years. The jig is up.

As I’m sitting there, I hear the student come down the steps. I didn’t think anything of it because I was out of sight and there was no reason for him to enter any room on the second floor. Usually, he just makes quick trips to the kitchen. I waited to hear more footsteps going down to the first floor, so that I could sneak back into our bedroom.

Instead, I look up and see him walking into the bathroom to apparently return a hair dryer he had borrowed. It was too early for my brain to comprehend what was happening. My eyes were wide with terror as we made eye contact, and I realized that I needed to cover my chest because… yes, I was topless.

jayz awkward gif

Instead of immediately running upstairs, screaming, cursing, and never looking me in the eyes again like I would have, he backs out of the room enough that we’re not looking at each other, but I still see his hand. He’s laying down the hair dryer by the door, calmly explaining that he’ll set it there. “Is right here OK?” “Yup! Got it! Bye!!!!!”

Horrified, I ran into the bedroom to tell Pete that the med student walked in on me peeing –  essentially naked. Instead of concern or sympathy, my distress was met with laughter. “It’s not funny! He’s going to tell everyone in Taiwan that American women pee naked with the door open.” More laughter. This is the guy I chose to be my support in times of crisis.

I fortunately had to leave the house to pick up L for brunch. I recounted the morning’s events to her, hoping to get the empathy that I had expected from Pete. Instead, the same reaction. Bastards. All of you.

I asked L why this stuff always happens to me. Is God playing some extended prank on me? Is he trying to teach me something about humility?

She suggested God may just be telling me to shut the bathroom door.

Touché, God. Touché.

4 thoughts on “This weekend’s life lesson

  1. While this story still makes me laugh, i reading it is nothing compared to watching you tell it.

    Only you, Mae. Only you.

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