Remember that time that I was a model. Yeah, me too.
I love, love, love NYE. It has a little to do with all the sparkle, a lot to do with the champagne, and some to do with the symbolic change from old to new. I’m a goal-oriented person, so resolutions have always been fun for me. The last few years, I’ve focused less on specific action items and more on themes (surprise, surprise, the self-proclaimed party planner likes a theme).
This year’s theme started a few months ago as my husband was working on installing hardwood on our second floor. It meant that we had to move objects that hadn’t been touched for years. We found a topsy tail, Pete’s old clarinet from band, and items that we could no longer identify. Some were welcome surprises, but many were just – stuff. Stuff we didn’t need or want. Stuff we’d been hoarding simply because we had the space.
I threw out a dozen pairs of shoes that were no longer wearable. I wondered why I kept them despite having many pairs of lovely, wearable ones, and it dawned on me that some of my physical baggage really came from an emotional place. I think this is what Oprah calls an “ah-ha” moment.
Growing up without a lot (think subsidized housing, food stamps, etc.), I kept anything kinda usable in fear that I would never be able to replace it. So, I kept old shoes that I now wouldn’t wear to my own backyard because I have this irrational fear of going back to that place where I may not know when I can buy another part of shoes… or pants.. or food. Whew. Didn’t think cleaning out my closet would bring THAT up. But it did, and it cleansed my soul a bit to acknowledge it and let it go via the trash can.
We are still in the midst of organizing the second floor, but it’s inspired me to take a more critical look at ALL the junk in my life taking up the space of things that are much more valuable. That includes limiting the number of things that I say yes to in order to spend more time investing in relationships with family and friends, turning off the radio and TV to listen to my thoughts more and just breathe, or not focusing so much on having to do everything perfect so that I can make room in my home and mind to let people in and see me – as the imperfect mess that I am.
Here’s to a lighter load in the new year!