Doggy Bag

Ever have one of those days when you wake up and feel weirdly awesome. Like you’re not tired, even if you should be. And you’re super positive about what a good day it will be even if it’s only Tuesday and Friday’s still three days away?

And you head downstairs to feed your dogs and rub their little puppy noses with all the love in the world, thinking, “What a great life I have!” And then you go upstairs to finish getting ready for your day and come downstairs to one barking dog and another licking his lips only to find out he ATE AN ENTIRE GALLON ZIPLOCK BAG OF LEFTOVER HALLOWEEN CANDY, WRAPPERS AND ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! So you spend the rest of the day in fear of your dog dying while you’re at work!


Yeah, ever had one of those?

I imagine that the barking I heard was really this conversation happening:

Daisy: Max! Come here. It looks like dad put some food close to the edge of the counter again. Do you think you can reach it?
Max: You’re totally right. Let me see. Oh, I got it!
Daisy: Cool. Give it to me.
Max: What?
Daisy: Give it to me.
Max: But I’m the one who got it!
Daisy: Um, I’m the one who told you about it you numbnut.
Max: [inhaling each piece at lightening speed] But it’s so good when it hits your lips
Daisy: You’re not saving me even one piece?!?!
Max: [Pauses for a second before continuing to inhale candy.]
Daisy: MOM!!!!!!! MOM!!!!!!! Max got into the candy, and it was all his idea!!!!!!!!!!

Fortunately, despite eating almost two whole bags of snack size York peppermint patties and snickers bars – including wrappers, mind you – Max didn’t even suffer a stomachache. (Unlike his sister who once ate an entire pound-size chocolate Easter egg and had to be taken to the vet and administered fluids.) Although his poop on the evening walk did have a minty overtone, so the situation wasn’t all bad.

Have a great weekend, folks! Make sure to hide that candy from kids and dogs alike!

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